The Melancholy of Gregory House
by Darker Charon
Summary: Two of the world's most interesting minds are fated to meet.   Watch as Haruhi and House try to figure out each other.  Compliant to House 7x05 and both Haruhi anime seasons.  Updated monthly.  Rated T for innuendos.  HaruKyon, Huddy pairings.
1. Prologue

_**A/N: I do not own House, M.D or the Haruhi Suzumiya series.**_

_**This story takes place after Season 7, episode 1 of House and after the anime episode "Someday In The Rain". It takes place before the Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya. **_

_**The Melancholy of Gregory House**_

_Prologue:_

The typed missive was simple enough. One of his fellows wanted to take a sabbatical, and given the events of the last year, it was understandable and made more sense than more psychodrama with Dr. Foreman. Her talents though would be tough to find a temporary replacement for. It had enough information for him to seek her out if the need ever came, but it was clear that she wanted space to do things she wouldn't be able to in only a few years. He glanced the message over again, it read:

"Greg,

This is my non-official notice to you that I am taking a leave of absence from my fellowship. I plan on being incognito in the Hyōgo Prefecture in Japan for six months. The Tsuruya clan will be my hosts for the time being, and my plans do not include practicing medicine for the time I will be in Japan. I have also sent a more formal letter to Dr. Cuddy detailing my reasons for needing some time off. I want to be able to see at least some of the world before my body and mind start to betray me. The others won't understand, but I think you may be able to. Please do not tell Dr. Foreman or any one else on the team about my plans. All the best to you, and may you always find those puzzles you need to solve in order to stay sane.

Goodbye for now,

Thirteen"

Gregory House, the doctor with the ever-present "five o'clock shadow" and piercing blue eyes that somehow obscured his fifty-one years of existence. then took the note, and put it away in his secret safe. He understood all too well the allure of Japan to someone running away from their feelings and he knew that mystical archipelago is where he found himself on more than one occasion. He often wondered what had ever happened to that cool-headed and dependable medical student that helped him find his way all those years ago. If Lisa had ever known that of one of his few regrets was that there was a girl he had met there while he was lost and on the rebound. He mentally filed away those memories once again and decided that there are some details best left buried in the past where they belong. He then heard a knock on his office door. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was close to midnight. Then his best friend, Dr. James Wilson, who looked still looked somewhat boyish for a middle-aged oncologist said

"Don't tell me you're actually staying here late here to do paperwork for the first time in ten years, House"

He searched his mind for only a few seconds for the right _bon mot_ to tell Wilson, "No, I am writing on my blog about how dreamy Edward Cullen is, and how Bella and him are the only true pairing of Twilight."

"Sam dragged me to the last one and made me almost swear in blood how we are on Team Jacob. " Wilson shuttered "You of course have to remind me at every opportunity, don't you?"

"That's why I'm here" House said.

Wilson turned to walk out the door, and said just before leaving. "You weren't thinking about your time in Japan 17 years ago again, right"

House grimaced " It wouldn't matter if I did. Everything was different back then, I was different. No use in disturbing those old ghosts. There is nothing to be gained…nothing to be solved."

Wilson thought for a moment and said " The fact that you are thinking about it means something. Certainly it shows how much growth both you and Cuddy have gone through since those days. Maybe it is time for you to find closure on this". House then used his cane to get up and turned off the lights to his office and followed Wilson towards the elevator.

There was no case that the team was currently working on, and he knew Lisa would eventually prevail on him to find someone to fill in for Thirteen. That was not going to be enjoyable. However, the upcoming weekend with Lisa was shaping up quite well. He could always play Dirty Preacher to Lisa's prim and proper Goody Cuddy, just as Hawthorne never would have imagined.

Of course, tonight was a night that he was going to spend alone. Lisa had not yet let him any interaction with Rachel, and that would take time for all three to adjust to the new reality. House had no idea if he would be able to act as a father to anyone. Certainly he was lucky that no one has said that he is the father of their child since that would entail some responsibility that he would have to take, and he wondered how they'd deal with all the idiots in the world. Of course, he would likely be able to do better than the man who raised him as his father. Tonight though, he would dream of Japan and wonder what ever became of that Japanese medical student he knew so long ago.


	2. Chapter 1: Some Smoked Cheese, Nyoro?

Author notes:

I do not own House M.D or the Haruhi Suzumiya series. Support both shows by buying the DVDs and/or Blue Ray discs and buy the Haruhi novels. Spoilers up to season 7, episode 5 for House and both anime seasons of Haruhi. Set before the Disappearance movie.

Chapter 1: _Some Smoked Cheese, Nyoro?_

(Tsuruya POV)

It had been an interesting couple of months since her parents invited the American doctor to stay with them in Japan. At least the doctor seemed like an older version of those clumsy _moe _characters that Motoko Tsuruya saw when she was watching those cartoons she liked like _K-ON! _It was later when she learned that Dr. Hadley had some sort of illness, and somehow her parents were able to help her feel less sick. Mori had said that Dr. Hadley had something called Huntington's Disease, and informed her that it was not contagious. Later, Tsuruya used a search engine when she was online and found out that it was a genetic disease. Some people just have rotten luck, Tsuruya thought to herself. She also saw that her friend Itsuki Koizumi would occasionally come over to her mansion and talk to Dr. Hadley. Itsuki was a very attractive 16 year old boy that was a year below her in high school. He would give a friendly wave to her now and then, but he always seemed to give more of his attention and time to Haruhi, the leader of the school's weirdest club the SOS Brigade, and to Kyon, the nice kid who actually does most of the stuff for the SOS Brigade. Yeah, Itsuki definitely spent a lot of time seeking out Kyon, and Tsuruya had a peek once at Itsuki's doujins. She wondered if Kyon would be flattered by his insertion into a _Gravitation_ doijin with Itsuki. _Shonen-ai_ had a way of making her laugh, and happiness was a thing worth spreading. Since he would hardly ever initiate conversation with her, she started talking to Itsuki.

"Have you gotten any autographs for your part in the movie, Itsuki"

He smiled at her, and said "No, have you gotten any, Miss Tsuruya?"

She wished he would call her by her first name, but guys like him never have the guts to. "No. " She turned to Dr. Hadley and asked her "Did Itsuki tell you that he rehearsed for a play and was the male lead in a movie that his club put on for the school Cultural Festival?"

"That must have been a lot of work. Is that Kyon guy also in your club?" Hadley asked

"Yes, he is. He's even dreamier in person though" Itsuki shrugged "I am only joking, of course"

"Itsuki, I think everyone knows that you were being serious. Maybe you should talk to Kyon about those feelings of yours." Hadley said with a look with sympathy.

"Yeah, I don't thinks Haruhi would think any less of you. You already seem like her BFF already" Tsuruya said "And who knows, she might be a huge _yaoi _fangirl, nyoro" She swayed her ankle-length hair a little while she was talking.

"Lots of girls and women love _Shonen-ai_ . Some of them even dig _shojo-ai " _Hadley said with a small smile followed by a blush by Tsuruya. "Personally, _yuri _is much better. I am not as intested in the romantic parts, just the sexy stuff"

"Well, I'm not sure if she'd like it if she seriously thought I was a rival for Kyon's affections. And Kyon thinks I get too close to him as it is. But I can always dream about him." Itsuki said.

"That you can. I am going to have myselfs a smoked cheese snack. Do you wants any of it, _nyoro_?" Tsuruya said.

Both declined her offer and she walked off towards the kitchen.

* * *

(Itsuki POV)

Sometimes I wondered about her, the next generation of our benefactors. She always had a lot of energy, and if anything she is more energetic now than three years ago. Her slight lisp and her love for smoked cheese were both quirks but they were endearing. She was also cheerful, eager to help people, and very perceptive. I often wonder if she knows about me, beyond my sexual preference. I waited before I spoke to my American "colleague".

"How is the Organization's treatment working, Thirteen?" I asked our American esper/doctor

"I am getting used to the side effects. At least I am fully able to use my fine and gross motor skills again."

"Good. Do you think we should go to the next phase of our plan then?" I asked her.

"I am still not 100% certain that this will work the way that we want it to". Thirteen said. "As you know, both parties are quite fickle, both are incredibly stubborn and they aren't stupid."

"Yes, but Haruhi won't pass up the chance to meet one of the world's greatest detectives, even if he solves medical mysteries and not crimes. Especially one that worked alongside her father." I said.

"It's not her that worries me. House wouldn't just jump on a plane from Newark to come here just because Dr. Suzumiya asks him for some help. Such things are boring to him" Thirteen said

"Don't worry. The Organization will make sure that something that he'll find irresistible will make him come here." I smiled. "We have an extensive file on him."

"I am not sure how I feel about seeing him again. My sources tell me that my former boyfriend, Dr. Foreman, did some digging on me when he thought I was going to Rome and House or Cuddy haven't given the truth away yet. I can count on Cuddy to make sure my secret location is secure, but House is quite unpredictable. I imagine he'd be thrown for quite a loop if he were to discover what we know regarding the Goddess considering that he is an avowed atheist."

"That is one of the qualities that makes him perfect for this. His rationality will prevent him from making that discovery, and she will have matched wits with one of the world's greatest detectives." I said.

Thirteen said "Even so, what I've found working under Dr. House is that when there is an element that we didn't know about, our best plans go awry. I hope you're prepared for that, Koizumi." She let out a deep breath. "So let's work on finishing that doujin of ours. Hopefully, you will be able to sell it at Comiket."

It would be another fifteen minutes before Tsuruya came back. Meanwhile, I was able to continue working on drawing different ways that I would seduce that tsundere man that rocked my world. Damn Haruhi for being kissed by those luscious lips of his first. When Tsuruya returned, I was almost ready to get hot and heavy into my work when she said something that killed the mood for me. "Mikuru is going to come over soon. Maybe we cans have her wear that bunny suit when you finish that doujin and want to get _megas_ attention, _nyoro_"

The thought of Mikuru and those ample bosoms of hers made me sick a little. If only Kyon knew how hard it was for me to do that scene in the movie and how revolting Haruhi's suggestions were. Thankfully, he came to my rescue like the hero he is, and I got to stop him from doing something he'd regret. "I think she'd rather not. I'm sure you could really be a great bunny girl if that's what you wanted to do." I said.

"I have been meaning to see ifs my yellow and green bunny costume looks good on me. I just might do that" She then laughed. Tsuruya was a nice acquaintance to have, and she would essentially rule the Organization someday.

It was not more than ten minutes later that Mikuru Asahina, _moe _girl and naïve time traveler, walked into the room where we were. She was not too surprised to see any of us, including Thirteen whom she knew as the clan's guest from America, Dr. Remy Hadley. She motioned that she wanted to have a private chat with me. And so we walked down a few corridors and ducked into one of the mansion's back rooms. She spoke in her not-quite-confident manner.

"Koizumi, my superiors just let me know that….that….in less than seven weeks time….there will be a slight hiccup to this time plane. They won't tell me any more details other than it's inevitable and Kyon will be injured." she said looking worried.

"How seriously?" I asked.

"Classified Information" she said. "At least we're certain that he won't die because I am here in this time plane."

"I see. We'll keep a close watch on him regardless. Maybe he'll need us there when the time comes."

"Thanks. I trust you and your group more than I trust Nagato and her group. And I never thanked you for keeping your cool when we are doing that movie. I don't know if we could have respected each other if I had acted on my impulses during that scene in this mansion. At least the two boys in my life try to protect me." She said.

"No problem. Is that all you wanted to tell me?" I asked her.

"Yes. I guess we'd better get back then" She said. The thought of my precious Kyon being hurt bothered me for the rest of that night.

* * *

Chapter 2 previews:

Dr. House was intrigued by the envelope that appeared on his desk, the return address completely in Japanese.

….

"House, are you sure that you're going there for a week and it has nothing to do with your unfinished business with Dr. Suzumiya?" Wilson said, almost like it was a dare for him to contradict.

Author asides: After some debate with myself, I didn't include the Japanese honorifics so the story would read better.

I know it's not canon to have Itsuki as being gay, but it's more interesting for me to write him that way. I hope I am not being that much OOC with the characters. I know that it's actually _Churuya _that craves smoked cheese, but for comedy's sake, I also had the character she was parodying have the same trait there.

Please review this and let me know what works and what I should work on.


	3. Chapter 2: A Japanese White Whale

**Author notes: I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya series which was created by Nagaru Tanigawa and animated by Kyoto Animation with Kadokawa as the producer**

**or House M.D, created by David Shore and executively produced by Bryan Singer and Katie Jacobs and is distributed by Universal. I also don't own the works of Ozumu Tezuka like Black Jack that I may reference occasionally.**

Last chapter, I give Tsuruya a first name and I made Koizumi gay. Neither of these are canon and I will invent some backstory for Haruhi's Dad. There will be spoilers for both shows(House & Cuddy are a couple; it is a novel spoiler that Tsuruya's family is behind Koizumi's group).

Chapter 2: _A Japanese White Whale_

(House POV)

He never expected that finding a temporary replacement for Thirteen would be so challenging, and yet it did have some fun. Chase was an idiot, Foreman wanted to be him lite yet again and Taub epically failed again. With his luck, his boss(and lover) would find the most Cameron-like doppelganger she could find, without all the angst about dying husbands and fixing broken people. Cameron always did have that annoying self-righteousness about her balanced with how pretty she was. She also occasionally would prove herself worthy as one of his fellows, so he did try to get her back to the team. He knew eventually that Thirteen's fill-in would be a new target for his witticisms and his unique ways of doing things.

That morning was one of the typical ones where the team had no cases that they were working on, and instead he was going to be stuck working at Princeton-Plainsboro's free clinic. This was one of the few areas that Cameron was really useful for, since she actually cared about stupid people and the stupid things they did that they knew insurance wouldn't cover or they didn't have insurance in the first place so he was the one who had to explain to them that they were too old not to know how to use a condom properly. Another thing that the clinic had plenty of was stupid parents bringing their kids in for the sniffles. They usually wanted an antibiotic too. It was no wonder that MRSA(Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) cases were on the rise, just look at the average PPTH(Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital) clinic patient.

A few hours of diagnosing the usual boring but potentially deadly conditions followed. Three cases of heretofore undiagnosed diabetes, one case of hypertension, yet another Viagra-seeking patient due to hypertension AND diabetes, and because this was a free clinic: two separate foreign-body extractions, one of those involving splinters from what the patient said was a _yaoi_ paddle. Convention season was almost over anyway, so this was probably the last _yaoi _paddle incident that he'd have to deal with this year. At least he didn't have any "catgirls" with furballs this week. Damn, the week following Otakon this year was awful at the clinic. Last month's New York ComicCon week was second to those two weeks in March around spring break for STD tests and diagnoses. Yes, he knew all too well the dark side of anime and/or sci-fi conventions. Of course, there were worse things like furries and their terrible get togethers.

Noon brought some relief from the tedium of the regular things he had to deal with including those idiots that watch the Doctors and bring in multiple stool samples. He took the elevator to his Diagnostic Medicine office. Most of the mail he got was pharmaceutical companies wanting him to push their products, yeah fat chance of that, or the occasional plea for him or his team to look into their mysterious illness. He looked at today's mail and Dr. House was intrigued by the envelope that appeared on his desk, the return address completely in Japanese. The return address was some hospital in Nishinomiya, which he vaguely remembered as being a small city near Kobe. He would always associate Kobe with four things: great beef, _Grave of the Fireflies_ which even made him tear up, the earthquake that he luckily wasn't around for, and Kuro Suzumiya. He opened the envelope to look at its contents.

There were certain legends in the medical community: House's ability to discover ailments when no else could; Black Jack the original rogue doctor who could produce good outcomes in patients that nobody else could save(Royal Pains on USA is a obvious homage/rip-off of this concept); and a handful of conditions that have never been confirmed by the medical community as existing. _Kimaira_, the dehydrating wasting disease that was only spoken of in a whisper lest ye be struck down with it, was one of these. The letter inside the envelope was a request for him to come and help diagnose the first official case of _Kimaira_ that may have been found on a remote island that could be accessed via ferry close to Nishinomiya. If a week had gone by and the diagnosis turned out to be much more mundane, then his stay would be comped by the hospital itself. The letter ended with "your friend and admiring colleague Kuro Suzumiya, Endocrinology Department Head". Dr. House pondered what he had just read for a few minutes and then decided whatever he would encounter in Nishomiya had to be better than more gonorrhea results from sixty year olds that you think would have known better by now.

* * *

It turns out that she had heard of Dr. Suzumiya in a professional capacity since they shared the same field. House knew that as Dr. Cuddy, Dean of Medicine, Lisa would be too busy with work and with Rachel to chase myths and see old friends. He figured that Lisa as an endocrinologist would want to talk to a colleague of sorts and to learn from Japan's advanced health care system. He also wondered how much various lies and mis-truths he had done over the last few months were putting a strain on his relationship with her, personally speaking of course. This was something he would have to deal with after he came back from Japan.

It didn't take much more than half an hour to book round-trip tickets that had him go to Newark, hop on a United Airlines flight to San Francisco, change planes and then fly to Kansai International Airport in Osaka. From there, he would arrange transportation to Nishinomiya, no doubt helped by his fluency in Japanese. Newark to the City by the Bay wasn't too bad, six hours or so. But San Francisco to Kansai would be a long flight, and with his luck he would be stuck watching some uninteresting subtitled Evangelion film instead of 2010's best Japanese film in his opinion, _The Vanishment of Trope-tan_. The Opening and closing songs were nothing short of epic, and he always liked hearing Aya Hirano sing. Of course, Aya-chan which her fans most often called her as Trope-tan's _seiyuu _brought her much of her fame, as well as being an idol singer and her role as Konata Izumi on _Lucky Star_, where she was an otaku who was obsessed with Trope-tan.

Wilson entering his office interrupted his thoughts on great Japanese voice actors, of which there were many. "If I didn't know any better, you constantly check my Twitter page, don't you?" House said

"You don't have a Twitter page, House. Although updating your Facebook page almost every hour with "it's raining, and swabbing for syphilis really sucks" status updates is pretty pathetic." Wilson said

"Yes, but how would you know that was my last status update…oh, two hours ago?"

Wilson was temporarily rendered speechless, but he was able to recover. "That wasn't even why I came by here, House. I will admit that you certainly did put that you were in a committed relationship with Cuddy fairly quickly after you told your team. No, the reason I came here is that I saw that you received some envelope that was in Chinese or something, and I was hoping this did not mean you were going take some case that involved the triads or the _yakuza_ or some bootleg of that damn Trope-tan movie that you dragged me to in New York City to see. I told you that I was going to take Sam to see something at the Met, and then you drag me to the New York anime festival. Then you insisted that we had to see that movie, and then you dragged me to a Trope-tan panel that had a bunch of Japanese people I had never heard of. Then you insisted we marathon _Kanon_ in the video room where a bunch of you were going on an on about how Kyoto Animation captured Key's style better than Toei or some crap like that. Then I have to explain to my girlfriend how I was watching some cartoon version of a sex game with a bunch of other grown men instead of watching some great opera. So…what did you do this time?"

House smiled for a moment and then said "The envelope was in Japanese, not Mandarin. Those types of gangsters wouldn't seek me out, I'm too out in New Jersey for their taste and I am not their type, although if asked I would consider taking their case provided it was not boring. Ordinary ailments don't interest me and most types of cancer doubly so, that's why I leave most of those matters to you. I also would never deprive Kyoto Animation or whichever American company licenses their works from being fairly paid for their extraordinary work. After all, I want to see more Trope-tan, more adaptations of the works of Key and I would love to see another season of _Full Metal Panic! _In return, I like to have the ability to fansub works that have yet to be licensed and need promotion here in America. And I would like to add that _eroge_ is more than just sex games. And I will satisfy you curiosity as I type my next status update. The envelope had a request for my assistance from Dr. Kuro Suzumiya. I will be gone for a week while I go to Japan to help him, and I leave tonight."

Wilson again temporarily lost all ability to speak coherently. When he really was able to compose himself, "House, are you sure that you're going there for a week has nothing to do with your unfinished business with Dr. Suzumiya?" Wilson said, almost like it was a dare for him to contradict.

House looked down at the floor for a moment. Then he said "I don't go fly halfway across the world for social calls. What are you,, an idiot?" He said and then paused for a few seconds before continuing "Oh wait, your record on marriage already proved that. Don't worry, you are my favorite idiot. I am going because I have an interesting case that I will take on with the help of a few highly qualified Japanese doctors, I get to have some great Kobe steaks when I solve this and I will even bring you back something. You are always saying that I ought to go on vacation more often. Well, this is a working vacation."

Wilson just shoved his arms in the air and said before leaving the room, "Have a good time then OK?"

House had a grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat. This vacation was already starting to be great.

* * *

Chapter 3 preview:

Between the beyond stupid in-flight movie that dared the non-existent gods named "Epic Movie", the $50 that he had to shell out to check the luggage he needed, and the cost of a goddamn pillow, was it any wonder why some idiot makes the news every other month by acting out on an airplane.

…...

Author asides: I had writer's block on this chapter for the longest time and the chapter turned out to be longer than I had thought so I ended it before I thought I would have to. I will attempt to write longer chapters as this goes on, which will mean the intervals between chapters might be a few weeks or so. Eventually I will aim for 3000+ word chapters instead of ones that fall just short of 2000. My thanks for the review of this story. I also am planning on posting the start of a regular Haruhi fanfic that involves Tsuruya's side story during the events of _Melancholy _and the summer that followed_._


	4. Chapter 3:Hare Hare Yukai W Dr McCaney

**Author notes: I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya series which was created by Nagaru Tanigawa and animated by Kyoto Animation with Kadokawa as the producer**

**or House M.D, created by David Shore and distributed by Universal. I also don't own the works of Ozumu Tezuka like Black Jack that I may reference occasionally.**

Expect me to put one of these out every month. I hope that maybe I'll be able to do so more frequently but coming up with 2000 words and going with a plot that makes sense is tough work for me, so your patience is appreciated. Please send me more reviews. Oh and Trope-tan as an anime conceit comes from Durandall's _Kyon: Big Damn Hero_. Trope-tan comes from , I site that I frequently lurk.

Chapter 3: _Hare Hare Yukai With Dr. McCaney_

(House POV)

"House, when you come back, you should hire this one". House briefly glanced at the resume. Martha M. Masters? At least he could remember it. The alliteration was a bit much though and he wondered if anybody had ever mentioned that damn Crash Test Dummies song to her. C'mon, MMMMMM is not a proper song title or song chorus and yet it was foisted upon the world by MTV in the early 90s back when they actually cared about music videos.

"Yes, Cuddy" he said in a tone that was identical to "Yes, Mom." when a eight year old was told to eat his broccoli. Although he never really minded that particular vegetable. Radishes on the other hand…..

"If you have enough time….I wouldn't mind if you had brought back a kimono or two." Lisa said, deftly changing the subject. She then embraced him. "Keep in touch, OK?" He wasn't sure if that request was a personal or a professional one. Probably both.

"I will." He meant that too. He knew saying that she could count on him in that regard would be a wasted breath and he didn't want her to think he was lying to her. Then he walked out the door and this marked the official start of his working vacation.

* * *

Under the circumstances, the Airport Shuttle van he had called after he had spent an hour packing his luggage was his best option. The roundtrip cost from Newark to Princeton was almost as much as a week's parking at Newark Airport plus the gas needed. Also considering that his return flight from San Francisco was a red-eye, he also didn't want to deal with driving back exhausted. It was quite surprising how many automotive fatalities came from falling asleep at the wheel. He remembered that Cameron had pronounced a few of these patients dead herself. Actually, it was Chase who had told him that she had done so.

As the minutes went by, his thoughts went to the aggravation he was likely to get with his cane. He really hated how most times he flew in the last couple of years, he had to be in a wheelchair. It was an affront to his dignity, although it did help take the burden off his functional leg and he wouldn't have to try to use his nearly useless leg. The TSA was always a pain in the ass, and he really hated how stupid their regulations are: take off your shoes, no restrooms last hour of the flight, pain in the ass liquid procedures. It's not like the TSA has really prevented any terrorist attacks, it's more like the proper authorities stopped plots and the heroic passengers curb stomped a few would-be suicide bombers. Even he was surprised at how heroic a group of strangers could be when they band together on an airplane and kick ass.

When he had arrived at the appropriate terminal, he had assistance with getting his luggage to the point where he could have it checked. The checked baggage fee was another annoyance, although he understood the logic of it. At least it made sense, unlike the TSA and its idiocy. Then he walked with his cane to where the TSA would screen him. He was told that he would have to check the cane, and then he had to go through the whole body scanner. In his mind, this was one of the most inept moves the TSA ever made since it invaded everyone's privacy, there was research suggesting it could have carcinogenic effects, and it would very likely not work because it could be circumvented. His cane was checked into the baggage for the flight, and he was pushed by one of the airline employees in a courtesy wheelchair.

* * *

An hour later, the flight to San Francisco took off. He had gotten a window seat, mainly because he knew enough when to take a bathroom break and he would not have to use it until he got to the San Francisco. Also he hated trying to get up every time some else needed to walk onto the aisle. At least this part of things was going his way. When the flight attendants started making their rounds, House wanted to know what the cost of a pillow would be. He was told it would cost him five dollars. Yes, folks, the airlines liked to nickel and dime us didn't they? He knew the in-flight entertainment was not likely to be good. There was a reason why people prefer tormenting or buying DVDs over other methods of seeing movies. Fifteen dollars to see a movie at Regal? Ridiculous! He waited for the schlock to start and he was even disappointed at that. Between the beyond stupid in-flight movie that dared the non-existent gods named "Epic Movie", the $50 that he had to shell out to check the luggage he needed, and the cost of a goddamn pillow, was it any wonder why some idiot makes the news every other month by acting out on an airplane.

It would be another six hours before he got to San Francisco, and this really made him reconsider any more flights in the future.

* * *

It was just before midnight in his time zone, and around 9 P.M local time when his flight landed in San Francisco. He had been to this city before, and seen all the touristy stuff; the old fashioned trolleys, Fisherman's Wharf, Lombard Street and Golden Gate Park. He had driven on the Golden Gate Bridge, which is the signature landmark of the City by the Bay and he had found the city to be charming, if not quirky. This was the city that had the Emperor Norton, elected Harvey Milk and banned the Happy Meal after all. He knew he had a few hours before the long flight to the Kansai region of Japan, which contained such places as Osaka, Kyoto, Kobe and the place where he was headed, Nishinomiya. The flight itself would take about half a day and when he landed, he would supposedly be met by an assistant to Dr. Suzumiya. Since this particular flight had more comfortable options for sleeping, this would be where he would be able to sleep off some of the jet lag. He did wonder if he was really making this trip halfway around the world to make amends for a past mistake, or was he trying to get Thirteen back since this was the area of Japan she was in too, or was it as he said to Wilson. He supposed at the end of the day, his motive didn't matter; if he saved a life then that was his true purpose.

He also remembered that quite a while ago, this was the city where he first had seen that notorious _hentai_ film _The Legend of the Overfiend_. He knew that "naughty tentacles" weren't a new concept to the Japanese, after all when he was younger he had seen woodblocks that were a few hundred years old with tentacles doing things that he enjoyed with Cuddy. It was astonishing how for a few years after that, most other Americans thought anime or as it was called back in those days "Japanimation" was violent stuff like Overfiend, _Akira_ and _Ninja Scroll._ People at least got wise after a while that anime was diverse in the genres and subject matter it covered. He wondered if he would have any time to explore the new stuff that hadn't come over to America. He thought these thoughts before he completed his mental checklist of things to do before getting on that flight. He wanted to avoid having to make any bathroom breaks while in flight. The airport bathrooms were much better in his opinion. After using those airport facilities, it would not be long before his journey resumed and he could get some rest.

It was not long after 2:30 a.m Eastern, 11:30 p.m Pacific that his flight took off and he dozed off. He was so tired there was no way he would be able to recall what it was that he dreamt of, but if past experience were any indication, it involved Urd from _Ah! My Goddess_, a wet t-shirt contest and Wilson somehow throwing a fit because some one called him short. That was better than that dream he had once where Wilson was reciting Walt Whitman or that nightmare he had once about Wilson and Keanu Reeves trying to do Shakespeare. Yeah, Keanu and Shakespeare would be a terrible, terrible idea.

* * *

He awoke hours later, and found that the rest he had was at least somewhat refreshing but he also thought he would be pretty groggy. He had worked out that his landing time would be somewhere around 4 a.m local time in Japan and back home it would be mid-Afternoon. He had made sure to call the telephone number that had been left for him when he was booking his flights. He pitied Dr. Suzumiya's assistant if they had to wait for him in the middle of the night. He figured that it would be 5:30 to 6 a.m Japanese time after he had gotten his luggage and cleared through customs.

His calculations turned out to be correct. It was 6 a.m when he finally had gotten all his luggage and got his trusted cane back. At least the Japanese weren't morons when it came to security unlike the TSA. He made his way slowly to where the private car services would pick up arriving passengers. He saw that there was a nice looking woman in her late twenties with twin tails, which were like pigtails but long like some ponytails and she was pretty well-dressed in a professional office lady way and she had a sign that translated to Dr. House with House being the only word repeated in English. He did wonder if passerby did a double take on the _kanji_ for House though. He simply said _"I'm House" _in Japanese.

"_Mori Sono" _She said and he mentally translated that her family name was Mori and her given name was Sono.

"_Pleased to Meet You. Please drive me to where I can get some sleep, Miss Mori"_ House said, noting that he was more polite in Japanese than in English. He really needed some more shut-eye. He also suddenly though he had heard _Hare Hare Yukai._ He told himself that it was the jet lag.

* * *

Chapter 4 preview:

House had to indulge his sudden desire to try his ever-improving arpeggio technique on a Japanese guitar, so he decided to stop by one of the local music shops in Nishinomiya. And maybe try to play _Hare Hare Yukai on the piano. _

…_..._

Stupid Kyon. Why did I always have to be tough with him to get things done as Brigade Chief? We have to get those instruments so we can top last month's performance at the Cultural Festival when next year's version rolls around.


	5. Chapter 4: It Is An Adventure, Dr House

**Disclaimer: **I wish to say that Nagaru Tanigawa and David Shore created the great works which I am using characters from. Those works are the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya(and the novels and anime that follow) and House M.D

**A/N: **Glossary of certain Japanese terms will be at the end of this chapter for House fans that may be unfamiliar with some words. I will also put up a new summary of the story next chapter.

**Summary**: Find out what happens when a certain mystery-seeking doctor who doesn't believe in God meets a certain divine Japanese girl who seeks mysterious phenomena. Hilarity and some philosophy ensue. Spoilers up to season 7 of House and both seasons of the anime.

Chapter 4: _It Is An Adventure Dr. House_

(House POV)

Mori ended up taking him to a local inn in Nishinomiya that was run by a pair of brothers. The younger of the Tamaru brothers greeted him when he checked in. He told Mori that he would likely be indisposed for most of the day while he slept off the jet lag. Then the young woman gave House her mobile number for when House felt like going to meet with Dr. Suzumiya. He bowed a little to signify his thanks, but he was not really in a mood to do that much talking. Then she left and she certainly was a sight to see leaving. If Lisa were here, she would have been certainly given Mori at least "the eye". He also thought this Tamaru brother, whose given name was Yutaka, had certain qualities that he did not have when he was younger, one of them being that the man carrying his luggage for him was what most women would call a stud, and when he spoke in English, he kinda sounded like Edward Elric from _FullMetal Alchemist _for some reason. House noted that the jet lag kept on distorting his hearing. What would he hear next, Crispin Freeman face palming? _Nah_, not possible. After his luggage was put where he wanted it, Yutaka told him to get a good amount of sleep and then the man left. House then basically collapsed into his bed and found himself dreaming of espers playing baseball.

* * *

Hours later, he woke up and felt really hungry. He checked his watch, it read 1 AM New Jersey time which meant it was 1500...3 PM Japanese time. He really wasn't going to enjoy the fourteen hour time difference. He opened his luggage to find a change of clothes, since he had been wearing the same thing for more than thirty-six hours. He knew he would have to trim his facial hair later to keep that constant five o'clock shadow, but for now, he was going to get something to eat. And that was what he did after he spent a few minutes putting on the fresh clothes.

Ten minutes later, he was headed towards one of the local cafes. Keiichi Tamaru, who was the older of the brothers, had mentioned the Café Dream as one of the low-key but enjoyable places in Nishinomiya and that was certainly good enough for him. Then he had a thought occur to him, but that would have to wait until after he ate. As he walked into the café, he noticed that it had some cozy wooden booths and it wasn't too busy so he could eat alone without feeling like he had to eat in a hurry. Of course, he always took as much time as he wanted, or as little. When he was seated, a girl who was either still in high school, or may have graduated six months ago introduced herself as his waitress. She had medium-length hair which looked light green and she looked well-groomed for her age. She also spoke in a tone that was slightly above a whisper but was still remarkably audible. He told the waitress, who said her name was Emiri, that he wanted a beef and egg bowl with rice…the Strangers Rice bowl he thought it was called and also some soba noodles to the side. Emiri then smiled as she walked away to relay his order to the chef. She certainly made what she did look effortless too, so he deduced that she had been working there for a while at least. When she came back with the drink he also ordered, he asked her a question.

"How well do you know Nishinomiya? I am here on a business trip but I was wondering if you knew where a certain type of store would be." He had said in English.

"My English is only adequate so please don't mind if I sound odd to you." She said. "I go to North High, I'm second year which I think you'd call a junior in America. I wouldn't know where to find the um…..we would say _ecchi_…oh I remember now, I wouldn't know where the pervert stuff could be found, but I can help you with many other stores, yes."

Her English seemed pretty good to him. "I would have found someone older and more worldly than you if I wanted that." She blushed and he almost let out a slight grin. "No, I wanted to know where I could buy a good guitar around here."

"There's a store like that not far from here. It would take me maybe seven minutes to get there by walking. They really good at tuning my instrument." She said without a trace of irony and House almost spit up his drink.

"And what would that be?" he asked resisting his urge to laugh.

"Flute" she said "It feels so good in my hands. It's not too heavy and I like to stroke it….er I like the feel of chrome against my fingers."

House suddenly wondered if she had learned English from watching _American Pie 2_. Or even the first one. "I see. Could you point me in the right direction when I'm done with this meal?"

"Certainly I can." She told him and she had left to check on his meal and a few other patrons that were also having a late lunch. He hope that Emiri didn't come across some American college students anytime soon. They would certainly enjoy what some of what she had just said.

Thirty minutes later, he felt pretty good since the food was quite tasty and the service was prompt too. He could see why Keiichi had recommended this place. He paid his bill, and then Emiri gave him some directions after gesturing in the direction where the store he was looking for would be. Even though he generally wasn't in favor of the 15% guideline, he gave her a good sized tip. Besides, as far as he could tell, she was a strong B+ in his book and a young man would be pleasantly surprised if they went for her rather than the A's like Mori. He realized of course that with the cane walking to this store would take twice as long as Emiri had said. He knew one thing for sure though, he had to indulge his increasing desire to try his ever-improving arpeggio technique on a Japanese guitar, also maybe try to play _Hare Hare Yukai _on the piano. Yeah, that massive Japanese hit sung by Aya Hirano was a persistent earworm and he had to get it out of his head by playing it.

He checked his watch as he walked into the store. 2:30 AM in his time zone, 1630.…4:30 PM here. He could have just set his watch to Zulu time and then the math would be easier since it would be now 0731 Zulu and all he had to do was mentally add nine hours to that. The shopkeeper of this store had obviously not seen many Westerners walk into his store, and greeted him in somewhat broken English…would that be Japlish or Enganese he mused to himself

"You lost, American with cane?" he said.

To save himself from heating more mangling of the English language, he answered in Japanese. "_No, I wanted to look at your guitars. I wanted to see if the good ones don't make it to export." _The storekeeper's eyebrows went up a little and his mouth was slightly open but then he composed himself.

"_You speak Japanese remarkably well. Do you live in this country?" _he asked House.

"_I have lived around here before, but I have only spent a few years in this country. I am only visiting this time around though."_

"_I will be nearby if you need my assistance. Just be careful and no Stairway to Heaven. Store policy."_ The storekeeper told him.

Great, House thought. Now, he'll have that scene from _Wayne's World _in his head all day.

* * *

(Haruhi POV)

Some day, my Brigade is gonna be famous. I just know it. In my roughly six months as Brigade Chief; we've beaten a really good college baseball team, participated in a murder mystery at a deserted island although the manor really didn't fit the mood, had a great cicada hunt, done a cool promotion for a supermarket which led to me getting that neat frog costume for Mikuru, shot my genius film _The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina_, helped ENOZ sell tons of mini-discs, beat those computer geeks and also have their absolute loyalty to me, and finally we shot some promotional photographs for the DVD of my movie while Kyon was getting us our heater. There was still so much to do though.

Stupid Kyon. Why did I always have to be tough with him to get things done as Brigade Chief? We have to get those instruments so we can top last month's performance at the Cultural Festival when next year's version rolls around. Of course, the first annual SOS Brigade Christmas Party is coming up, and that has to be spectacular and after Christmas, there's our winter trip which Koizumi has made arrangements for. This time, the place where we're staying must be the kind of mountain building where spooky things could conceivably happen. Seriously, there has to be something creepy or eerie aout a place if you're going to do a proper murder mystery. It's in the rules somewhere.

As things are happening right now, Mikuru is once again in her gorgeous maid outfit that I personally picked out for her. It really does compliment her chestnut brown hair and it helps give enough attention to her bust without overdoing it because she certainly has large breasts, she is at least a full cup size larger than me. I envy that sometimes, although I will admit that I have some nice curves too. Not that Kyon notices though. Right now, he's playing Go with Koizumi, and I would have to guess that Kyon is winning. Yuki is absorbed in her reading. I think she's reading the English version of Interview With A Vampire which tells me that she is really testing her ability to understand English or she just wants to read one of the best novels on vampires in the last twenty years.

I also can't help but think about John sometimes. I wonder how he would have liked what I've done over the last three years and four months and I also wonder if he ever did get to meet a slider. Somehow I know he knew what my message that night meant, and I won't ever give up hope of meeting him again. When Kyon helped me create the SOS Brigade, he reminded me so much of John. Too bad that most of the time he can be such a dummy. Still, he had his moments and there was that very odd dream I had of him back in May. He was so much like John in that dream too. Why can't he be more like John more often? We'd be that much closer to finding aliens, time travelers, espers, sliders, ghosts and maybe even a vampire or two. I bet Yuki would like that.

I look at my watch and I see that it's just after 4. I can't put this off any longer, we are going to see a guy about some instruments. "Kyon!" I say to him "You and me are going to do a little reconnaissance. After all, the SOS Brigade has to be ready for next year's Cultural Festival and I will not settle for anything less than our very best." He looked like he was going to say something dumb, but he didn't. I just led him towards the door. I then tell the other three "You can do what you want for the rest of the day. Kyon and I are going to be busy for the next few hours. Don't worry Mikuru, I've already got a great outfit for you picked out." I smile at this thought.

* * *

Chapter 5 preview:

He pretended that he had no comprehension of the Japanese language just so he could listen to what the strange girl and the guy who was so totally her boyfriend were talking about. She was saying something about the SOS Brigade.

Glossary and little aside:

Sorry if the switch from a third person limited past tense dealing with House and first person present with Haruhi is jarring. I try to make this as seemless as possible. It also seems like present tense fits her more. As promised a little glossary of words that I think most of you know but I just want to make sure that I'm not saying things that people don't understand.

Comiket(aka Comic Market): The world's largest self-published comic book fair. Held twice a year in Tokyo.

Doujin(shi): Blanket term for any self-published work. Ranges from purely amateur fan works to original works for professionals who don't have any backing.

Ecchi/Hentai/Eroge: Ecchi, Hentai and Eroge are related terms but not the same. Ecchi means "dirty" and usually has sexually suggestive content but actually isn't pornographic. Hentai is sexually explicent material(meaning porn). The word roughly means "pervert". Eroge is a type of video game with erotic content. Also called H-game or Hentai game.

ESPer(I write it as esper): Person who is capable of telepathy or other psychic abilities.

Hare Hare Yukai: The first ending theme to the Haruhi anime. In this work, it exists just as a mega hit from a very popular actress/singer.

Kanji: Chinese characters that are used in Japanese writing.

Moe: Has been translated as "turn-on" but is better defined as a character that you feel so much for that you want to protect them or to just give them a hug. Mikuru is considered an archetypal moe girl but Yuki is also a moe girl who is also quite strong.

Seiyuu: Japanese voice actress. They have a much more intense following than our English voice actors over here.

Sho(u)jo-ai/yuri: The former means Girls Love and is the softer type of work dealing with two girls/women in love. The latter means lesbian and is considered more graphic.

Sho(u)nen-ai/yaoi: The former means Boys Love and is considered softer in tone in dealing with two men in love. The latter means gay and is more graphic. Also has a rather large following among women.

Tsundere: A person who "runs hot and cold". Can be harsh("I Hate you!") and shortly later, very loving. Usually a female character but not always. Haruhi and House could both be considered this. Character Archetype.


	6. Chapter 5: House, God & Kyon Jam Session

**Disclaimer: **I wish to say that Nagaru Tanigawa and David Shore created the great works which I am using characters from. Those works are the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya(and the novels and anime that follow) and House M.D

**A/N: **Story is compliant to House 7x05 and has a number of Haruhi spoilers including some novel spoilers that have yet to be animated. Chronologically, this takes place before the Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya. Please, please make sure to review. I also would like to know if my audience for this is mostly House fans or mostly Haruhi fans. Since this is Chapter 5, I will post Omake 1 at the end of this chapter.

Chapter 5: _House, God and Kyon Jam Session_

(Haruhi POV)

We could really move fast when I need us to. Kyon and I are already near the bottom of the hill that is supposedly a bane of many of school's existence. Yes, I am going to get a good baseline on how much the instruments will cost, and I will have to find a way to get them within a year's time. Of course, the SOS Brigade will have to practice intensively before new year's Cultural Festival. I am also going to have to film a teaser trailer for the sequel to the _Adventures of Mikuru Asahina. _I know that we'll need a new Mikuru attack too. Maybe I'll introduce the Mikuru Hurricane this time around. I know that Mikuru will need new costumes for it too. Maybe the Battle Waitress from the future who disguises herself with a Bunnysuit is also a _miko_. Yeah, that will help with whatever she has to face in the second movie. Tsuruya as a vampire maybe, since Twilight is very popular and will help spread the fame of the SOS Brigade. Maybe I can get our first ever client Emiri Kimidori as an alien demon that Mikuru and Koizumi can't beat by themselves so Yuki comes back and helps them beat it. Hmm, yeah that would be epic.

I see the train station in the distance and near that is the café that we tend to frequent. Kyon is our wallet, and I wouldn't have that any other way. I really got out of having to pay for the meal that one time that he was very early for our hunt for strange phenomena back in May. But today, he doesn't have to pick up a check this time since we're going to the nearby music shop. He's also thinking to himself again. I don't know if he daydreams or just likes to be the strong and silent type sometimes. It's one of the things that makes him attractive in a way that is irritating to me. I mean, love is a mental illness, right? I must be crazier than I thought because he's not an alien or an esper. He is also very unlikely to be a time traveler or a slider.

I check my watch once we're about a block or so from our destination. It is around 4:35. I feel like Kyon is starting to slow down and I say to him "C'mon, we're almost there. I know we're going to have to figure out what part you'll play in our band. Hey…I know we'll see if you can play bass." By this point, I see that I am close to the entrance, and then both of us go into the store.

"Haruhi, don't you think that you're trying to do too much? I mean, you want to do a sequel to the movie we did for the Cultural Festival and you'll leave me to do all the dirty work, and then this. Training us to work the instruments is going to take up a lot of your time."

"I never thought it would be easy, Kyon. A good leader knows when to embrace challenges. The SOS Brigade will become well known after next year. With our movie and our band with the choreography that I will come up with…the world will know us. We'll go viral on YouTube…." I say

* * *

(House POV)

The "No Stairway to Heaven" rule notwithstanding, there didn't seem anything unusual about the music store, House thought to himself. The keyboards, of which only a few were Cassios, looked in decent condition, and there was a small and well-worn piano in the back. He let his fingers test out a few of the keys to see if it was still in tune or for that matter ever tuned right. It was tuned correctly, of course. His attention was turned back to one of the keyboards. If he was going to have some semblance of fun before he got down to business regarding Nishinomiya's medical mysteries, then he would have to play some Journey. Yes, epic win often begins with Journey or ends with them, it was an unwritten rule. He started by playing the first four bars of "Separate Ways". He tried to remember how the beginning of that song went, but the epicness of that instrumental opening just got the better of his memory. Then he heard a slight commotion as two young people came into the store. He was far enough away that he didn't have to actively acknowledge them, but the short-haired brunette with the yellow ribbons and a hair band looked like trouble. She was dressed in a sailor _fuku _that had to be the standard uniform of one of the local high schools, and she was accompanied by an average looking young man with light brown hair and wearing the tie and blazer combo that was the standard male attire of some high school. Fortunately he was also close enough to overhear their conversation. The young man mentioned a Cultural Festival and was generally complaining. Yeah, you're so not going to score tonight, buddy, House thought to himself. He pretended that he had no comprehension of the Japanese language just so he could listen to what the strange girl and the guy who was so totally her boyfriend were talking about. She was saying something about the SOS Brigade. Then said that they could go viral on YouTube. Yeah, conceited much?, he thought. Still, there was something very compelling about this girl. Then the guy, who seemed a bit like a Japanese version of Wilson in how he could be a killjoy said that they would likely be like that Bulgarian woman who butchered that Nielsen song that was covered by Mariah Carey…he just couldn't remember the name of it at that moment. Then to cover for his eavesdropping, House started to play that great piano lick that was the Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush duet "Don't Give Up".

That seemed to attract the attention of the girl. She grabbed the sleeve of her male companion and then dragged him over to where House was. She was saying in Japanese that she recognized which song it was from, and that it was one of her favorite anthem-type songs. The boy just shrugged as if he had never heard it before. House just said "I can't understand you. I don't speak Japanese."

The girl frowned for a moment but then her demeanor became more cheerful. "I can speak English, so it doesn't matter." He had to admire how well the girl spoke English. It was accented, but it sounded like she was fluent in it. "I was just telling Kyon here that I love that song you were playing on that keyboard. Kate Bush is one of my favorite non-Japanese musicians. I think she may be a secret witch or esper or something. Her music is just not of this world, and it holds my interest."

Yes, she was stranger than even he thought, but she seemed to have taste at least. He also admired Kate Bush's ethereal voice and her unusual subject matter. "Since I have Hounds of Love on vinyl, I would have to agree with her music being very out there. "

He was in the middle of thinking of what else to say to the fascinatingly strange girl when she asked him a question. "Hey, are you an alien, time traveler, esper, slider or wizard?" Her face indicated that she was completely serious.

"Sorry, the only wizards that I know of with canes or something like that is in Tolkien. " He indicated his nearby cane. "I am assuredly, as human as you are, and the only time traveling I've ever done has been with LSD which I have only ever done once and I don't recommend you trying it. I haven't the foggiest what an esper or a slider is, but I am sure I am not those either. I am simply an American tourist, that's all." He saw momentary disappointment in the girl's face, bur then it vanished.

"I understand you. However, it is odd to find a tourist in an ordinary music store in Nishinomiya. This isn't even the part of the city that tourists go to. If you don't want to reveal your secrets in front of people like Kyon, I get that. Maybe later, if we ever run into each other again, you can tell me who you really are." She winked at him. House didn't know whether to worry about how eccentric she was, or to be utterly fascinated by her.

The young man who had been silent, then injected "Haruhi, he obviously has no plans of ever seeing you again. Not after you asked him if he was anything strange. You may well have asked him if he had ever had close encounters with the spirits or with the gods." The young man's English wasn't as smooth as the girl's, but it had the necessary inflection.

"Young man…Kyon was it? I can set your mind at ease. I haven't encounter spirits because they don't exist, and neither does any sort of Supreme Being. I have never seen any empirical evidence that proves the existence of a God let alone gods. I doubt I ever will either." He had to speak the truth, didn't he?

The girl, Haruhi, had a quizzical look at her face and said "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, correct? " She then said "Even though I have not yet found anything proving that what I seek exists, I will keep looking. Even if I also doubt I'll ever find them, I will keep looking. I will keep searching because I believe that they exist. I also know that I will encounter many challenges, and that I have to find a way to overcome them. Because isn't that what life really is, challenging your limits and your perceptions?"

Her belief in the supernatural was as strong if not stronger than some of his patients. He could also sense there was some rationality to her as well, which made her more interesting. Such a dichotomy, strong belief in the supernatural against rationality and practicality. "I'd say the biggest challenge that we have to face is that we are ultimately alone. Alone is determining our own fate and therefore we must find meaning in our short lives, because we only have so much time and then we just don't exist." He said with his years of experience and with a desire for her not to waste what time she had.

There are a moment of silence then, and it was broken up by the shopkeeper asking House in Japanese "_Have you found anything you'd like to purchase? How do you like the guitars you wanted to try?"_

The young pair had a look of surprise and the girl, Haruhi, had a look of annoyance.

House knew that his charade of not being able to speak their language was blown. He decided to say to the shopkeeper "_Your instruments are good enough for me. However, I will have to wait until I have finished the business that has brought me here before I decide if the cost of shipping is worth it for me." _He addressed Kyon and Haruhi next. "_At least your girlfriend here has shown me that I can still find interesting people, far from home. Hopefully this SOS Brigade of yours gives you that meaning that is so important given how things are." _He then grabbed his cane and limped away towards the door. If this was just the beginning of his trip, then this was really going to be the coolest vacation ever.

Chapter End

Next chapter: How does Kyon feel about the mysterious man with the cane? Is Haruhi more intrigued by House? What are Mori's objective in all of this? Answers in the next chapter.

* * *

Omake 1. House, Kyon and Haruhi do Ghostbusters.

Kyon and Haruhi had finally finished climbing twenty insane flights of stairs as they reached the rooftop of Kimidori's building. It was up to them, Yuki and Mikuru to confront the mysterious Destroyer of worlds. They knew that Kimidori and the Computer Club President were huge ugly dog-like creatures. Now they were face to face with their nemesis, who looked like a American in his fifties with a perpetual five o'clock shadow and he was twirling a yo-yo.

Haruhi stepped to the lead. "The SOS Spirit Removal Brigade, in the name of the people of Nishinomiya, Hyogo Prefecture, Japan and the rest of the people of Earth, demands that you exit this realm and go to a nearby empty parallel dimension or something like that."

The not-quite-bearded one said "Who dares challenge House the Houzerian? Are you a god?" He said menacingly.

"Yes, I am a god" Haruhi said, and a army of Celestials appeared behind her.

"Bloody Hell!" House said. "Did you have to do all that, Wendee?"

An unseen voice said "CUT!"

* * *

Haruhi and the others tried to keep their minds blank, but then their nemesis said "The form of the Destroyer has been chosen".

Mikuru then blushed and said "It just popped into my head."

Haruhi then snapped "What did you do, Mikuru?"

Mikuru said "I just thought of the one thing that I thought would never hurt us. The Stay-Xtra-Puffed Marshmallow Infinity Lion."

Haruhi and the others saw a nearly hundred foot tall marshmallow lion stomping down the street. Kyon face palmed. Yuki said "What now, Crispin?"

The unseen voice again screamed "Cut"

End Omake.


	7. Chapter 6: Faith part 1

**Disclaimer: **Yet another reminder that Nagaru Tanigawa created Haruhi and her friends and David Shore created Dr. House and his colleagues and such. Kyoto Animation and Universal also help these shows reach people so they get a mention too.

**A/N: **Some novel spoilers may appear. This is increasingly seeming like it will turn into where canon diverges for both fandoms. It is canon up to House Season 7 episode 5 and takes place after both Haruhi anime seasons but before Disappearance which will also stick with canon. Haruhi/Kyon, House/Cuddy pairings.

Chapter 6: _Faith part 1_

(Kyon's POV)

There were times that I thought that the colder weather and the shorter days would at least put a damper in Haruhi's crazier schemes, but that was blown away like the hopes and dreams of many in Steinbeck's opus to the Dust Bowl in America, _the Grapes of Wraith._ And no, there were no angry vines or anything supernatural in that story. Naturally, I was stuck with the duty of making sure that the world wasn't destroyed or having Haruhi create more disorder like she had caused with the filming of that movie. She was also determined to enter us all into next year's Cultural Festival as the ultimate North High band, all the better to increase the SOS Brigade's fame. Knowing her, we'll all be singing songs about cookies and marshmallows like on some anime. Little things like the time it takes to master an instrument are just insignificant molehills to her. If I was going to be stuck doing it, I may as well either take lead guitar so Nagato could play bass or drums and keep us in perfect time, or I would have to take that duty as part of the rhythm section and let Nagato and Haruhi bring the house down with their impressive chords. Nagato was simply a guitar virtuoso at the Cultural Festival. At leasr the members of ENOZ felt they had been done a _mitzvah _by Haruhi. The timing of the matter aside, it was certainly her finest hour as she actually did something selfless. She didn't know how to take being thanked for that, which was also refreshing, but I certainly did not have to look for her afterward. Ever since then, she had that idea on her mind, and I had hoped that she had finally decided that it would not work logistically.

I started to feel winded after we had walked more than a block from the café and the nearby train station where we would always meet for our searches. I knew that I needed to catch a breath but then Haruhi just kept pushing us forward as if we were charging full on into the Mongol hordes. Then we were close to the music store itself and I had had enough. As we entered the store, I finally spoke up.

"Haruhi, don't you think that you're trying to do too much? I mean, you want to do a sequel to the movie we did for the Cultural Festival and you'll leave me to do all the dirty work, and then this. Training us to work the instruments is going to take up a lot of your time." I didn't really care at that point if Koizumi had to deal with Closed Spaces all night if he had to. Somebody had to tell our mad leader the truth.

"I never thought it would be easy, Kyon. A good leader knows when to embrace challenges. The SOS Brigade will become well known after next year. With our movie and our band with the choreography that I will come up with…the world will know us. We'll go viral on YouTube…." Of course, what I had just said went through one of her ears and out the other. If we ever got that much attention on YouTube, it would be like that video of the five year old smoking a cigarette. 4chan would make mockery of us one of the great memes, like the Rickroll or Ceiling Cat.

"So not only you have us gathering the attention of all of Japan and then the world through your movie, you are going to have the internet help you spread your fame by doing a cheesy music video?" I couldn't help but say. "Do you know…" Then both of us heard a keyboard playing a pretty intense and moving piece of music. I wasn't able to place where I had heard it, but then Haruhi grabbed my sleeve and dragged me over to where we saw a Western man with the beginnings of a beard. He looked like he was within the age range of my father's generation. He had deep blue eyes that I couldn't help but notice. I suppose you could say there were a little hypnotic in how you could look at them for a long time. They certainly reminded me of a deep blue lake.

Then Haruhi told me "I recognize that song. It's an anthem actually. I have played that over and over again when I am in the mood to listen to it. It's a great song from a great album." I shrugged. I didn't really care.

The blue-eyed stranger said to both of us in an American accent "I can't understand you. I don't speak Japanese." I didn't know enough about America to narrow down his accent any further.

Of course, this was just another obstacle to Haruhi to ignore or overcome. "I can speak English so it doesn't matter." Yes, and she was much better at English than I ever could be. "I was just telling Kyon here that I love that song you were playing on that keyboard. Kate Bush is one of my favorite non-Japanese musicians. I think she may be a secret witch or esper or something. Her music is just not of this world, and it holds my interest." I stifled a groan at her theory that this Kate Bush was an esper. I had no desire to deal with more espers, especially one's named Bush. Later, I found out she was actually British and certainly much smarter than the other Bushes that I had heard of.

"Since I have Hounds of Love on vinyl, I would have to agree with her music being very out there. " So the blue-eyed man must be older than I had thought, since I could think of no other reason why he'd collect albums in such an outdated fashion. I suppose Haruhi would find that interesting though. She must have been suspicious of him by then, because the next words out of her mouth were going to cause trouble.

* * *

(Haruhi POV)

It can't be helped if some minds think small, as Kyon sometimes does. Just as I tell him that I face any challenge, he tells me his doubts about the power of the Internet. Really, I think he underestimates the appeal of three girls doing a great choreographed scene to _Hare Hare Yukai, _and in the past, people have told me that I have an audio resemblance to Aya Hirano. Then my ears hear something I wasn't expecting. It was the organ or piano part to the second half of _Don't Give Up_. Really, there was something magical about how they produced some songs in the 80s, but of course, there was a lot of great pop music from the idol singers too. Of course, I feel so excited that I grab Kyon's sleeve bidding him to follow me towards the source of this great music. The source of this well-played tune is a foreigner with very deep blue eyes and a stubble that sort of tries to be like Don Johnson. Kyon being such a philistine has never heard of the song. He needs somebody to help him with cultural matters, I think. The foreign man speaks and says in American-accented English that he cannot speak Japanese. That is not a surprise. Most Americans don't know the first thing about another culture and cannot be bothered to speak another language and we Japanese learn English as a second language and some of us can even passably converse if we were ever tourists in America. I do admit that I know little about America though. Their president seems like a nice enough guy and I had heard that a town in my country that shares the name Obama celebrate him. Certainly he had to be a better leader than that…what was the English word for it…ah yes, "cowboy" president that was named after a shrub. But I digress.

I tell the American man who also seems to need a cane "I can speak English so it doesn't matter." I could guess that I will sound strange to his ears when I am speaking his language but it cannot be helped. Then I tell him exactly what is on my mind. "I was just telling Kyon here that I love that song you were playing on that keyboard. Kate Bush is one of my favorite non-Japanese musicians. I think she may be a secret witch or esper or something. Her music is just not of this world, and it holds my interest." Indeed, the British songstress holds a special place in my heart. If I remember right, she was my age when she had her first hit, which was _Wuthering Heights_ which also had lyrics pertaining to that particular Bronte novel. I have been told that was in some ways the precursor to Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. The less I say about sparkling vampires the better. No wonder a certain other author with vampire novels won't allow people to do fan fiction of their work. Again, my mind is wandering. The American also mentioned one of her seminal albums, which had _Running Up That Hill _on it. Most people know that song for its lyrics about a deal with God, and it was covered by some rock group named Placebo. Although him having it on vinyl makes him at least a little interesting. I figure if he has this taste in music, I may as well inquire if he is one of the sort that I am searching for. And so I ask him. "Hey, are you an alien, time traveler, esper, slider or wizard?"

He answers me with a wry smile and says "Sorry, the only wizards that I know of with canes or something like that is in Tolkien. " He makes sure that I notice his cane. I would not mistake him for Gandalf or any of the Maia. Or any of the Valar. "I am assuredly, as human as you are, and the only time traveling I've ever done has been with LSD which I have only ever done once and I don't recommend you trying it. I haven't the foggiest what an esper or a slider is, but I am sure I am not those either. I am simply an American tourist, that's all." I try to remember if I know what LSD is. It doesn't come to mind what it is. His answer though with just a tourist is very suspicious. That is exactly the sort of answer an esper or a slider would give. Maybe telling him that he can tell me the truth later might yield me some results.

"I understand you. However, it is odd to find a tourist in an ordinary music store in Nishinomiya. This isn't even the part of the city that tourists go to. If you don't want to reveal your secrets in front of people like Kyon, I get that. Maybe later, if we ever run into each other again, you can tell me who you really are." Then I wink at him with all the theatricality I can muster. I won't let this mystery get by me, I know that for sure.

Chapter End

Next Chapter: Kyon and Haruhi both think about House's extreme skepticism. Mori reviews the Agency's plan regarding House and how to handle him and Dr. Suzumiya meeting.

Aside: I hope that I am realistically portraying how Japanese people think about Americans. I am an American myself and I try to research as much as I can.


End file.
